How often have you said something without any ill intentions and yet someone was hurt or offended by your words? <\/p>\n

Misunderstandings happen more often than we\u2019d like to admit especially during phone conversations, or when written messages are exchanged. The reason is that when you\u2019re on the phone or when you write a note, there\u2019s no body language or any facial expressions for the other person to perceive and feel what you\u2019re saying. The only thing that comes across in both cases is the \u2018tone\u2019 of your voice or the \u2018tone\u2019 of your written message. <\/p>\n

For example, during a phone conversation, if you\u2019re loud and have a more aggressive or irritated tone in your voice, the person on the other end feels intimidated, disrespected or equally irritated by you, depending on what the conversation is about. In the case of a written message, if the words in your note sound bossy, insensitive, or come across as having an \u2018attitude\u2019 or as if you\u2019re pointing a finger to the other person, your communication ends up being ineffective because either the other person automatically shuts down, or he or she feels the need to defend himself or herself. You then end up in a battle of who said what instead of solving the issue at hand.<\/p>\n

You see, it\u2019s not WHAT you say that matters, but HOW you say it<\/em>. As the late Maya Angelou said, \u201cI’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.<\/em>\u201d That\u2019s exactly the case here. <\/p>\n

When you talk with someone and your voice conveys a rude or condescending tone over the phone, or if you write a message that has an \u201cattitude,\u201d in both cases, your message is lost and feelings of anger and frustration take over by the person on the receiving end. <\/p>\n

If you are talking to someone over the phone, watch yourself and see if you have a frown on your face or if you sound upset or angry. You can change your voice to by putting a smile on your face. As simple as that! Try it. Look at yourself in a mirror as you speak and start smiling. Automatically your tone sounds more pleasant and calm. <\/p>\n

On the other hand, when you\u2019re communicating in writing, read the words you\u2019re using, and analyze the \u2018tone\u2019 of your message. Are you friendly or argumentative? Are you understanding or pointing a finger? It\u2019s best to write your message, let it sit for a few minutes, and then come back to reread it more objectively. How do your words make you feel when you read them? If you get a sense of discomfort, then change your words because if you can feel that, so will the person reading your message. <\/p>\n

So next time you are about to jump on the phone or write a message, think first about what your intentions are and what you want to get out of this communication, and remember it\u2019s not what<\/em> you say, but how<\/em> you say I that\u2019s important. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How often have you said something without any ill intentions and yet someone was hurt or offended by your words? Misunderstandings happen more often than we\u2019d like to admit especially […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":510,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,4,6,25],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/www.powervsheart.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/pr-tone.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.powervsheart.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/505"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.powervsheart.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.powervsheart.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.powervsheart.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.powervsheart.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=505"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.powervsheart.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/505\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":509,"href":"http:\/\/www.powervsheart.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/505\/revisions\/509"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.powervsheart.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/510"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.powervsheart.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=505"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.powervsheart.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=505"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.powervsheart.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=505"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}